Caw...Polly causing chaos!
2019-09-09 Comments
This is a recent story - only a couple of weeks ago - which took place towards the end of the summer holidays. Whilst we were in Gdansk, Poland, my husband, daughter and I had gone to the beach, spent the day at the zoo and visited the Old Town. We were looking for other ideas when we heard from a couple of sources about a Parrot place not too far away from where we were staying. I jumped at the idea since I love birds, especially parrots. I imagined a massive aviary full of exotic birds.
On the morning of the excursion, we set off after a light breakfast since it was already very warm, temperatures reaching around 23C and rising. The parrot place opened at 10am and it would take us half an hour to walk there. Luckily, having looked it up we knew how to get there. We started off in a nice suburban area, but then we reached a bit more of an industrial part of town. There was a stretch of wall with lairy graffiti including what looked like gang tags, that led downwards to a "stabby" looking subway which came out onto a dubious stretch of pavement. It started off as three slabs-length of path by one square wide of paving slabs, which led to an overgrown lane with weeds waist high so we ended up walking on the road. Although we packed everything we needed for our daughter, we hadn't packed our machete to hack through the tangled vegetation, on this occasion. The odd car came thundering past, but other than that no other pedestrians were about. Along a section of the journey wafts of butter and popcorn hit us. It was a nice enough smell and we found out later, there was a margerine factory nearby.
Finally, wanting to escape this quiet manufacturing district, we spotted a sign posted up high on a fence which pointed to the parrot place and felt some relief to know we were about to arrive. We guessed they were located out of the way for the cheap rent. I think most visitors drive to this location because we hadn't seen anyone else approaching the venue, on foot. It was dead quiet as we tried to look for the entrance. Once we entered a nondescript door, we discovered we were the first ones there. We approached the front desk to get our tickets. The girl mentioned I had to take off my earrings, chain and hair tie because the birds are attracted to shiny things. Then she said it would be better to take our glasses off when the larger parrots sit on you. And last but not least, to be careful where we trod and to look on the floor as there might be parrots walking there. I took off my jewellery and put it in my rucksack which we left with my daughter's stroller by the reception desk. The girl on reception then asked how many cups of bird food we would like to buy. Not knowing what the situation would be like I told my husband to get one for the moment and we'd purchase more later, if need be.
Before I took off my glasses, I looked at the paper cup as we entered the arched door before pushing through a heavy chain curtain. It was about the size of a disposable espresso cup. Half filled with seeds and a small round cracker biscuit on top. The next moment I looked up, all I could see was a bunch of feathery bodies, wings flapping in my face and loud screeching all around. A flock of parrots descended on us. My daughter didn't get away from them either. One big macaw was trying to settle on the back of her neck where she had leant over whilst my husband was carrying her. It didn't find its balance and flew off again but left a few deep scratches on her neck and shoulder. Surprisingly, it didn't put her off the birds. After a little yelp, she recovered and was trying to stroke the ones that had perched on my husband and me. Once things had settled, I had four parrots on me. One on either shoulder, one on my head and one on my wrist where I was holding the cup. Where the weather was warm we were all in short sleeves and I could feel the one on my arm grip his claws into my flesh. My top was actually a two layered short sleeved, long waisted vest.
Shortly after, I was gifted with a stereo chorus of parrot screech from the ones on either side of my shoulders. I was sure their beaks were planted right next to my ears. I moved about slowly and they changed to a higher tone, which I couldn't make out if they were annoyed or enjoyed the movement. In any case, it was not amusing to me. So I stayed still for several minutes but the "singing" went on, joined in by the one on my head. "Please don't poop, please don't poop" - I kept repeating in my head, hoping they could read my thoughts. Then the one on my forearm decided to climb up to my bicep scratching me as he sidled and clawed his way up. All of a sudden they all flew off. I quickly passed the cup to my husband and I took over carrying my daughter. He had three of them perched on him and two hastily pounced on the food, whilst the other one opened and flapped its wings.
As I was holding my daughter in my arms another parrot flew over and landed on my back hooking its claws into my top lace layer. It swung itself up and I felt it nibbling my shoulder blade. I turned to show my husband and he said it was trying to bite my bra strap. It was the ring that held the two pieces of elastic together and the bird saw it shine through the lace. He gnawed a few moments more and got bored and flew away. I asked my husband to check if my back was OK and to see if the parrot unhooked my bra.
At this point, my husband wasn't in the clear as the red macaw on his shoulder decided to nibble on his ear. It looked so sweet at first and then I could see the powerful beak chomp down and getting more and more rough. Literally chewing on my husband's ear. It was turning as red as the parrot. He was very manly about it and stood still to endure the harsh play. But he squinted with pain as the bird continued with the rough ear massage! Finally, it had enough and flew off in a huff. My husband then told me he was too late in taking off his glasses and one of the parrots took a chunk out of the lens and chewed up the frame. I was quite surprised to hear that. I had managed to slip mine off during the initial bombardment and hid them away. But I still had my hair up. My hair band consisted of a black elastic section held together with a metal part. So far, none of my feathered friends had taken an interest, but my husband said not to chance it and take it off. I passed over our daughter to him and he handed me back the cup with the seeds.
I pulled out my hair elastic and my hair tumbled down over my shoulders. This seemed to attract an African grey parrot and he flew over to land on my shoulder. I didn't want to face him in case he pecked at me but I could see from the corner of my eye. He leaned forward right next to my cheek and started to nibble on my face. Then he hovered over a small mole on my cheek and nipped at it. Ouch! Cheeky bugger! I didn't want to keep hold of the cup of seeds now, in case it attracted more birds so I handed it to the keeper that was there. She tried to advise me to tip the food onto my palm but at this point I started to appreciate that all my fingers were intact and I intended to keep it that way.
Scratched up, deafened, and worn out by the intense focus (by not freaking out, watching our step and keeping our daughter safe) we left for the outdoor area. The reception hall had a couple of tanks which housed tropical fish and the other, piranhas. We found some seats and inspected the damage to my husband's glasses. The lens had been popped out of the frame where the mighty beak of the macaw had chomped down. The lens had fracture cracks on the edge where a chunk nearly came away and you could make out the shape of the tip of the parrot beak. My husband was rather hacked off as these were relatively new glasses which he liked.
Although the parrots were friendly enough, they are still wild animals, they behaved more like an overstimulated spoilt brat. Screaming in your ear, biting you and stealing the food from your hand. As the whole experience lasted less than an hour and left some vicious battle wounds, I can wholeheartedly say that its not the best value for money but definitely an experience worth having for the adrenaline rush. If one day, you wish to be abused by a swarm of sharp beaks, here's a couple of tips for you: wear a long sleeved, thick top with no sentimental value. Leave that favourite sweater your grandma gave you for your birthday in the closet and instead grab that old tracksuit top that smells a bit funky. Take your glasses off, don't worry too much if you don't see all the details; most of the time you'll be closing your eyes anyway, either from pain or being smacked by wings on your face.
If you want to give it a go, here's their website.