Airport tales
2019-11-04 Comments
Having taken a couple of recent trips I was reminded about the hassle of air travel. I don't know about you, but with the increase in the number of security checks at airports, there's a higher likelihood of the number of times I, or someone I'm travelling with gets stopped. The following are stories of the times that this has happened.
The first was when I was a young and naive traveller. It happened on a return journey to the UK after a rather large shopping binge. I had obviously crammed the bulk of my haul in my main suitcase, which was checked in. The rest I had to arrange so that it would pack tightly into the carry on case. But when it came to the security check I got pulled over to one side after the scan. The security woman got me to take out nut crackers that were rolled up in socks, that were tucked into trainers and unwrap a pair of knickers to reveal nail clippers. OK, yes it was that random, but the fun did not stop there.
Once she had got me to round up these items, in her triumph; promptly sprung her arms aloft, like she'd just scored a touchdown in an NFL game and strutted about with her win. She shouted over to her supervisor if "these" were OK to pass. He nodded and like the football after her score, she slammed my tools down on the counter causing a loud clang. I'm glad someone was having fun at my expense. I didn't feel too embarrassed, just annoyed that she seemed to be making a show of it. Still - she held the power, no point me adding to the show.
So there I was with an exploded suitcase which looked like a battlefield - with all the body parts strewn about. Hey, that's not a pair of my knickers landed over on the next inspection table is it? I took my sweet time in gathering my stuff and trying to pack it all back into the case. After a few minutes of me carefully packing things back to the way they were, another security guy came over to help. Not sure if he felt sorry for me, to hurry me on or mentally support me because of his drama queen colleague. Still, that was quite nice of him. I think I must have looked that helpless that he took pity on me. He wished me a nice day as I left, pulling my case behind me.
Another time was my one way to Dublin. My husband and I moved there for a year, for work. I had packed up the flat in London and stayed to wrap things up, so ended up with the last bits and bobs. I had lots of carrier bags, sanitary towels (we are talking the big fluffy night ones, not the nicely individually wrapped small discreet ones) and some kitchenware. I used the the sanitary towels and loose carrier bags as padding for some of the delicate items. I had everything packed perfectly and because it was a hot day, I even managed to squeeze in my jacket in there, saved me carrying too many things on me.
It was a busy time of the day and the young man who was scanning decided to slope off for his break. No one came to replace him and just before he disappeared round the corner he stopped to talk to an older guy walking towards the scanner. They stood for about 5 minutes gossiping and having a laugh. It was only when the passengers behind me started to complain, that the older guy decided to go on about his job. He was replacing the woman inspecting the trays. Surprise, surprise my case got pulled for the inspection, and he was about to carry it out.
He asked if it was OK to search my case. What was I going to say? No? I waited in line for half an hour to be difficult and not board my flight? Give me strength. He unzipped the case and the contents started to spill out. He asked me to dive in and pull things out. Firstly, the big fluffy sanitary towels, then all the loose carrier bags. At this point, he still couldn't find what he was looking for so I had to keep more and more out. Baking tray, spatulas, measuring jug. He wasn't able to see what he needed to find. Out of frustration he took my suitcase back to get it scanned again and then came back and resumed in getting me to take more items out. The people behind me were getting agitated again, complaining between themselves saying how ridiculous that man was. I think they were sympathising with me. Finally, he turned the screen round and showed me what he wanted to find. Oh, why didn't you say in the first place? I thought to myself. It turned out to be my asthma inhalers which were in my jacket pocket, tucked away in the lid of the suitcase. Aaaaargh! What a numbnut.
I quickly found the 2 canisters and once he saw what they were, he sent me off. By now all my stuff had been emptied out onto the table. A kindly American woman queuing behind me, offered to help me. I thanked her, and wheeled off the suitcase to the side and she gathered all the other bits and passed them onto me in a tray. I thanked her again and quickly repacked everything and headed to my gate. Talk about humiliating, why didn't he just ask me in the first place I could have avoided waving my extra big maxi pads around. He didn't appear to be the sharpest tool in the box. No wonder the queues were so long!
Well, it all goes to show we are all treated like crap by airport security but thank God we do step up and help each other. They say the worst situations can bring out the best in people. We're all in this mess unless we can afford a private jet, until then, cattle class for most of us, is the only way to travel.
My last story was a heart pounding moment. I was travelling with my family (husband, daughter and mother-in-law, aka grandma) to Hong Kong. We sat across a 4 seat row in the middle of plane. Grandma was sitting on the aisle on the left side of the plane. This was the first long haul flight she'd ever taken since she'd only travelled within Europe, previously. All went well during the flight and grandma managed to sleep a lot more than us seasoned travellers. When we were leaving the plane she managed to get her bags from the overhead bin, whilst my husband and I gathered up our daughter, her things, our bags and the travel stroller from our side. We were so engrossed in making sure we had everything, we left as soon as our side started to move. We didn't see grandma leave but the passengers were already walking out to exit the plane on her side.
It wasn't practical to just wait outside the airplane exit door, so we waited at the end of the gangway. We watched as we recognised some of the people who were sat near us on the plane but no sign of her. Eventually, the people dwindled and she was nowhere to be seen. What happened? From the short distance of our seats to the end of the gangway we lost grandma!
We walked further along the airport towards the transit for the arrivals hall and waited by the escalators. Still, no one new appeared and I was getting worried. Both because it was the first time grandma had travelled so far and she didn't speak English. My husband in the meantime, was very laid back. He said at the most she would just be having an adventure trying to locate us. He decided to walk back towards the plane to see if she was still waiting along the way, whilst I stayed by the escalators with my daughter in case grandma turned up. Another 10 minutes went by and then my husband returned empty handed. I suggested we make our way to the helpdesk to get a message over the tannoy to get grandma to meet us there or approach a member of staff. He joked that it shouldn't have to come to that, as she would eventually turn up.
When the last of the people from the flight had all gone, the staff ushered us onto the transit train to the arrivals. Still no show from grandma. So once we got off the train, I warned my husband that he would need to make an announcement to direct her to us. We approached the passenger helpdesk and I explained to the guy behind the desk that we'd lost our relative and if we could make an announcement over the tannoy to locate her. The only drawback was that she couldn't speak English and only spoke Polish. His expression became panicked and blurted out that they "only spoke English or Chinese". I explained that my husband could make the announcement. But just as we were ready to prepare for it we heard "Janek, Janek!" and turned to see a flustered, pink faced, sweaty grandma bounding up to us. I quickly, told the guy it was OK and that she'd found us, much to his relief.
After a quick recovery, she told us that she had waited for us but got caught short (number 2's) and had left her post and by the time she got out everyone had left. My husband was saying she'd never live it down, he would remind her what happened for the rest of her days. She said she was rounded up by the airport staff and directed towards the arrivals hall.
The bonus from this was that our luggage was waiting for us by the time we arrived and we sailed through immigration check.